'My model railway is just down these stairs.'

            it got more and more delightful

            in between the shimmering screen and the rough rope that bound my wrists somewhere in the hollow dark somewhere in the sound that bounced off concrete archways and drowned the drips of the wet cellar somewhere above the snapping click clack of the four of us dancing in our chairs trying to escape rubbing our shin bones raw somewhere beyond the prancing shadow figure who preyed upon us all in turn blanking out the scrolling screen our only source of light merely looking down on us and smiling somewhere from hell and heaven mixed

            came a voice

            so what do you think of the new ep lol he said

            he ripped the tape from our lips and took some skin

            its great its nearly there we said

            good he said because theres loads of music on it that is nearly there

            yes we know we said not too long now

            not too long now he said and then he gave us some hugs and stroked our hair 

if we get let out we will be at cargo on Oct 4th

           

           

Screen if you want to go faster.

Good golly – is it the Monday after, already? How the b*stard did this roll around so soon?

            The hangover - the loss of temporal function - is from Thursday night’s Soundscreen performance at Brighton Corn Exchange. HundredthAnniversary and Luo were ego-stultifyingly good, as were the big videos that were projected behind each band. Well done to everyone – the bands, the video artists, the stage crew, The Phoria Orchestra (yeah), Soundscreen…

            Thanks to everyone who came, too. It looked like a full house from where I was. That’s very nice of you. We like to be watched. This goes out to all you kids at GCHQ, too.

            This was a nerve-fracking one. We all went a little bit wrong from about an hour before the show until it was actually time to play. Jeb wasn’t the only one to walk away from me, saying ‘I just…I  just can’t deal with you right now.’ I can’t be more honest than saying that is totally fair. I’m just jealous that he actually can get away from me – I, on the other hand, am stuck here. A jellied little prison of bone and skin. Thanks very much, unfathomable state of being.

           

            The nerves and strange sensation of impatient dread (like say, if you just couldn’t wait to smash yourself in the face, despite the fact that you have no reason to enjoy being smashed in the face) were probably from the weeks of work and stress that went into the gig. Ed scored his b*lls (bollocks) off (not in the Blue Peter sense), Trewin manned the crow's nest of the good ship aesthetics, and Jeb…I dunno…probably had something to do with the videos. You know what he’s like. I don’t think I’m being unfair in suggesting that Seryn and I did very little – though who knows how bad it could have got had those three grafters not had two lazy urchins to target in their private moments together? I’ve said it before; my purpose is to provide a common enemy, and thereby foster coalition between potentially disparate parties. If you don’t like that, well…

            Talking of parties…nah. Let’s not have that conversation. It’s always slightly cringe-worthy when someone talks about a after-party they went to when it mainly amounts to sitting on a chair drinking regrettable amber fizz (none of that, anymore, please. I don’t know why I returned to that place of worship – it’s bloody horrible) and choking on air thick enough to take a seat in the House of Commons. It’s cringe-worthy, I tell you. Especially when you consider the fact that the highlight for me and my little flower of a follower was when the host presented us with his collection of original Soviet pin-badges. I think the others were in the hot tub on the roof. Let that sink in, then see if you want me to tell you about the party.

            I thought so.

            So the party…

            And now I’m like this.

            Tim.

Everyone should come.

        So what did you do yesterday?

        Oh, right.

        Oh, yeah?

        That sounds awful. Truly dreadful. Why the heck would you share this drivel with me? How is a story like that going to enhance my life in any way whatsoever? I regret asking.

        WE, on the other hand (since you’re interested), did something that was actually worthwhile. Check it out:

I have better quality photos, but no others in which Trewin looks like a teapot posing for Debenhams.

          Yes, we practiced yesterday with the orchestra (or Phorchestra, if you won’t) alongside whom we’ll be performing on Thursday night. Here’s the gig. Tickets can be purchased by clicking through the facebook page. Click it. View it. Come. Strictly in that order. Please. If you do, I promise I won’t be as cruel as I was at the beginning of this post. That was an error on my part. I’m sorry – I’ve just woken up and I had a bad dream. We love you, really.

        Come.

        As usual, Jeb was on hand to film a little film (‘film’ is the one where the pictures move around on the screen; not reach from the page, envelope you, and transport you to something that’s not quite hell but personal revelation tells you is a much more torturous version of the kind of thing traditional depictions of hell singly fail to describe - that's something else entirely that a priest once showed me in a cave) so that film should turn up soon to slather a thin veneer of drool onto your chin.

        It was great fun to hear the tracks brought to life with that whole new element added. We’re doing three new ones, two of them never before gigged, each with strong orchestral accompaniment. There’s a whole bundle of new visuals created especially for the event, too. Lots of people have been workin’ ‘ard for this performance. We like the Soundscreen people. The venue’s much bigger than we usually play, too. We like playing bigger places.

        Thanks to all the people who play the little wooden instruments for coming along yesterday. We really can’t wait for Thursday.

        Whoever you are, whoever you know, please like and share the stuff we put out. This one should be a banger!

        Here’s that link again!

        And here’s a video of one of my favourite comedians, which I only found recently after years of convincing myself I’d seen everything he'd done that was available – hence my excitement and will to share.  It's actually been up for ages. I don't know how I missed it.

        That’s just what I like. If you don't share my tastes, that's OK. Just ask why I should share this drivel with you, and how it's going to improve your life in any way, whatsoever.

        Warmest regards,

        Timothy Dustless

P.S. That meeting I mentioned the other day? Don’t worry about it for now – just know that I’ve reminded you of it in order to tell you not to think of it. This will be on the test.