Simply having an adequate Chr*stmas time.

Well, Chr*stmas sure took a walking jump, didn't it?

I remember it being the beginning of December, having plenty of time to sort stuff out (enough time, in fact, to indulge in my favourite past-time of 'not sorting stuff out'), when suddenly A WILD CHR*STMAS APPEARS and after hours of browsing I'm forced to batter my brain into believing that yes, Dad will want a Top Gear pilot light maintenance set as a symbol of his son's love. The way it works is that, if the pilot light goes out, a plastic representation of Jeremy Clarkson spouts something vaguely inflammatory in a clearly calculated attempt to attract as much attention as possible.

In Phoria news, there's little to tell but plans being laid: get to Abbey Road at the end of January, release soon after that, have a little tour, then look forward to new material. Those are our goals. We've been banging on for ages about releasing this stuff, and we're all so glad that it's finally getting there and that there are dates and bookings and words and pictures surrounding it. Every time Trewin plays me a freshly tweaked version of the songs, they sound better and better. We are counting down the caesium oscillations.

The year is ending, isn't it? Soon enough.

While I'm here, with a laptop and a piece of broadband rather than a little wax tablet and a strand of cooked spaghetti that I imagine to be a telephone wire, I'm going to share two songs from two albums released this year that I loved. How lucky we/you are to live in such an age. It's always a little awkward when people share stuff in this way, but, hey, it's Chr*stmas. Don't want my gifts? Go and put a mince pie in you or something. Go on. 

First: A band pointed out by Jeb on the Phoria facebook page a little while ago, and who we managed to catch when they came by to Brighton. I cannot stop listening to this album. It sounds like retro-futurism from the future.
This is Belispeak, from the album Shrines by Purity Ring:

Ahhh.

I think the whole band (read: world) agrees on that choice.

Second: A band that I was very disappointed to hear are now on 'indefinite hiatus', which means a forthcoming plethora of 'unreleased material' and a comeback tour in ten years at £80 a ticket. Jeb and I also managed to catch these guys live on what turned out to be their last tour. Oh, how we get around.

Nothing says Chr*stmas like a dense slice of psychedelic prog rock, right?

[Note to self: warn people of scary speaker smashage before they get to playing the videos]

I hope you've got all your presents bought and wrapped, and are sitting in your favourite armchair sipping something poisonous and flicking idly through the Radio Times. Or maybe hanging out with friends and family, if you're into that whole 'social' thing.

Everybody keep warm, keep dry, and keep happy. We need you.

Merry Christmas, or whatever.

Tim

PS. If you want to buy us something, or are flushing £50 notes down the toilet in tribute to Rod Stewart's publicist, why not donate to Shelter instead.

Phoria! Tonight! Live! Sold out! Cancelled!

It's never nice to cancel a gig, especially on the day of the gig itself.
I was all worked up for tonight. I'd had a shower and everything, I'd trimmed my beard, furchrissakes, and I'd even arranged my clothes (CLEAN CLOTHES), neatly, at the end of my bed, as a caring parent would do, so as to facilitate a full sense of occasion.
I know that Ed had baked a special cake, Jeb had, through bloodied tears, crafted a tributory wood carving, and Seryn had put together a special outfit just for the occasion which, he told me, was based on a rumoured ancient Atlantian ceremonial loin cloth.

All of this effort...all for what?

We're truly sorry to have let you down, especially if you bought tickets just to see us. We'll be in London again soon, and we'll be sure to give you a special wink and a smile.

Christmas is coming, the tunes are getting phat.

We've been approaching this whole 'band/music/artist' thing with a slightly more relaxed attitude on the toe-scraping lurch up to Christmas. What with all the toing and froing over the EP for the past 12 months (which has, hopefully, been resolved once and for all (again) with our being booked in at the prestigious Abbey Road: end of January), big gig stresses, failures/successes, and a persistent and thankful sense of impending doom provided by the absolute truth of the definitely oncoming apocalypse (six days, Mayan fact fans); we think we are allowed to...not slack, but wind it down just a touch before our cold, soup rationing, teabag re-using lifestyle gets the better of us. That's not a lament, by the way, but just a little flag above our musical parapet saying that we, too, can be heard in that collective, countrywide sigh of relief, however slight, that seems to be accompanying the forthcoming break, however frugal.

So, that's the mood.

That's the mood that has allowed me to spend this morning under a blanket, sat in my tatty office chair, listening to the album Seven days of falling by the Esbjorn Svensson Trio, which might be one of the best Saturday morning albums ever.

The band are still getting together today, though. Would it ruin any kind of surprise to say that we're spending the day making puppets of each of us? I figure I'll just put that fact out there and let you stew on what we might be doing with them. If you guessed that these horrifying machinations will end up being nothing more than tools for me to act out my meglomaniacal fantasies, then you're at least much more astute than any other member of the band and perhaps you'd like to discuss your ideas over dinner.

So yes, today is arts and crafts day. This is the type of chilling out we do, apparently. Look out for the Phoria sewing circle, and its separate blog: Detaching Seryn from the curtains.

To anyone doing their Christmas shopping today: good luck. Brighton, at least, seems to be a Pamplona of iPads and posh socks.

To anyone spending this dark, cold December Saturday safely indoors, preferably gathered with friends around a steaming kettle, softening the air in whichever way: I salute you. Or, at least, I raise my hand a bit. As much as I can be bothered.

Tim

P.S. We're at Macbeth's in Hoxton this Tuesday night. I'm quite sure our stage time is 8pm, but we'll keep you updated. It's our last scheduled show of the year, so if you're nearby, or know anyone nearby, or are reading this, or are alive, then come down and celebrate the passing of another year and our collective, inevitable slide towards the grave. It'll be fun?

Downbeat. Upbeat.

Right, well...

It's now the Monday after the Friday after the night before.

We got home at about 5am last Friday morning after our EP preview at The Queen of Hoxton. This late arrival was the result of a long drive involving three failed sat-navs, Seryn needing to be dropped off near a shepherd's bush, our nearly running out of fuel, and numerous diversions leading to the seventh circle of the M25. Ed and I were the only ones awake as we approached Brighton, keeping each other perked up by telling detailed stories, usually of an explicitly romantic nature, of time spent in the company of various renowned tyrants. Result of: 22 waking hours.

And all that (diversions, lies) after the big gig itself.

If you came, thank you. Oh, and we're sorry about that massive technical hitch that left us stranded onstage without a synthesiser, and without hope, for what in reality was about ten minutes, but what, onstage, in the reflected glare of bright lights in hopeful eyes, felt like about seven hours. If you didn't come, there's a brief explaination of the massive technical hitch in the sentence preceding this one. You missed out on a peek behind our IKEA scenery. Pay no attention to the frantic sound engineer behind the curtain. I like to think of it as a John Cage-like experiment in anti-music, but incorporating the progressive-jazz spirit of entirely unintended improvisation. That's how I like to think of it.

Still, we previewed the EP, and, even if, briefly, it was a preview of what it would sound like if you tried to play it through a shoelace, I liked it.

Away from all of that, away from the horrors of mass transit systems and sickening software slip-ups, away from broken down vans and this little itchy patch of skin in the groove beside my achilles tendon, away from thinking about the war-mongering alien species living in the centre of the sun, who have so far missed our planet with their gravity slingshots of solid rock and gas giants but who will, inevitably, be named our great overlords, forcing us to bow down and kiss the slimy robe of God-saint Tencatu, famed as Prime-master, merciless slayer of the weak; away from that...

/There was a bit of good news here, which I have now edited out as it might not be happening. Good. Good. Let's move on./

/This blog is now empty of positivity./

Enjoy your panicky christmas shopping, everyone! I don't know what to get for anyone, either.

Except Ed.

Tim

I'll try not to mention the van.

We're in the van, again. When I was younger, dreaming of playing music for a living, I didn't anticipate 'the van'. I will be sat in this cold, hard seat for about 6 hours today. I will be onstage (too hot) for about 45 minutes. I'm more passenger than musician, it seems. That's not a reference to me playing bass.

Yesterday, we were supposed to be practicing at Brighton Electric studios for 6 hours, to make up for missed practice during Jeb and Trewin's Berlin jaunt (the final mixes from which should soon be with us, pending judgement). However, with delays of faulty backing tracks, broken down vans (again), Seryn forgetting something right when we thought we'd sorted everything (again), and the band next door to us playing so loud that we could actually forgive them on the assumption that they'd deafened themselves, it didn't really end up as productively as we'd hoped. The phrase 'one of those days' comes to mind. What could go wrong, did go wrong.

STILL, I for one am glad we got a day like that out of the way, considering what we're up to now. Hopefully whoever's in charge of the 'Phoria luck computer' has called the helpdesk and been told to turn it off and turn it on again, to see if that solves the problem.

Hopefully.

So, 'Get to the point, Tim.'

Well, we're on our way to visit the grand Metropolis studios in West London. 'Oh, that sounds nice!', you think to yourself. We're going to have a nice cup of Bovril and a chat (like a conversation, but with more liquid beef) with Grammy award winning producer Dom Morley. 'Oh, that sounds nice!', you think to yourself again, showing a slight lack of imagination.

Then, it's everything time. Big gig tonight! EP preview @ The Queen of Hoxton. We're going to play all the new tracks, and lots of exciting people will be there (including you, I hope). Come. Come. It will be, as your favourite celebrities so often say: 'as good as a ride on the best ship ever made.'

Only come in a van if you absolutely have to, though. That's my advice.

Tim

(EP PREVIEW! EP PREVIEW! TONIGHT AT QUEEN OF HOXTON, IN HOXTON! DON'T MAKE ME SAY IT AGAIN!)

Sunday is Funday, right?

Well looky-see if Sunday hasn't just rolled around again. Here it is, right on time (it's difficult for it to be late, as the time it occupies and its relation to all previous notions of 'the present' is defined only by itself on its own terms, making all talk of time obsolete and therefore all calendars and clocks redundant, but that's for another blog).
I thought I'd take a break from tea, pain au chocolat, and Ren and Stimpy to update you on what we've been up to.

Right now, everyone's focus is on Trewin's progress in Berlin, where he's been working with a producer on the final mix of the new EP. His updates include 'I've lost my wallet' and 'Berlin is in Germany'. He's mainly been communicating through phone calls to Jeb, which then filter through to the rest of the band and leave us with more questions than answers as to his whereabouts and wellbeing. It's business as usual, then.

Excited. We're very excited to hear the new mix.

Ed and I have been working on our new practice studio, painting it a glorious virginal white while eating McDonald's pound saver burgers and watching The Simpsons. We've just got to get some decent flooring in and we're good to go.

Excited. We're very excited to play in it.

Jeb left today to join Trewin in old hurly-Berlin. He started talking to me, earlier this week, about his stress in getting up at 3am to get to the airport, and perhaps not getting to sleep until 8/9am. It was then only a blink until he remembered that that's how he lives, anyway, so he had nothing to worry about.

Well, that's that. Not particularly comprehensive, but, hey, it's Sunday.

I'm going to recline.

Tim

P.S. Don't forget, it's our EP preview at the Queen of Hoxton in...Hoxton, this Thursday. Tickets are going to be available on the door, and we're going to play the whole EP, with new videos and all. We'll see you there, yes? Yes.

I'm typing this on my phone whilst watching Baywatch Nights.

News: Trewin's off to Berlin this week to oversee the final mix of Bloodworks. I was going to go with him, but a) I have 3p, and b) however many times I might suggest it, Trewin never seems to want to remove his vocals, and all music, from the tracks and replace them with the sound of me humming television theme tunes, entreating the listener to scream the various titles into their cups, creating what I like to call 'Cuppy-screams'. If no-one's going to listen to my ideas, I'll just stay at home.

I haven't seen the others since Shepton. Lucky people. I think I've just about recovered. It seems the gig was well received, which is nice to know.
We'll revel in the pleasure of each other's company tonight, though - we're playing the Green Door Store in Brighton with the very cool EXITMUSIC. I'm in the mood for LOUD.

So, new music getting finished, and a gig to boot!

What a happy tuesday.

Tim

Green Door Store, Brighton, tonight tuesday 13/11/12, with EXITMUSIC

Shepton Mallet Rock City.

Here we are, then. It's 'morning' again (that's according to Phoria Mean Time, it's actually...afternoon or something. All I know is that I've just this second woken up, and that's never a good thing.)
Last night was Shepton Mallet digital arts festival, which we played with previously mentioned fellow Beatituder Cate Ferris. It was a great gig, just so you know. Thanks to all who came, thanks to all who worked, thanks to all who played, thanks to all who thanked, and thanky thanks thank gig mallet.
Right, that happened because last night was 'one of those', where Seryn, Cate and I were scouting around Ciara's Beatitudes palace at 6am for another bottle of red wine. That sounds like fun, doesn't it? Well, it was. Especially the bit about the red wine. That was the bit you just read. Pay attention.
We even kept Ciara and husband Bram (husbram) awake until something o'clock talking about weird stuff we liked. They had to leave at 9am today to, you know, do 'real person' stuff, foolishly leaving their beautiful home in the hands of 1, 2, 3, 4, 5...5 people? I think there are 5 of us. No...6. Unless you wish to personify the foul taste in my boozified gob, in which case there are 73 persons here, and an antelope. We're running low on tea.
So far we've stripped the walls, cooked the cat, and eaten everything under the sink. That's about as disgustingly destructive as we can think of being at this time in the morning, but the day is young, and so is Seryn. I think we're going to lock the doors and christen Fort Phoria by blowing it up with us inside, screaming with regret.
So, yes! Let the Beatitudes bells ring! Not too loud, though. I've just woken up.

Tim

(Barely any cats were cooked in the writing of this...thing.)

Normal, band based service will resume this week.

...and tonights venue is...

The Tram and Social in Tooting! Congratulations, Tram and Social in Tooting, you get to have us play!

If you're London bound, then come. It's The Tram and Social (in Tooting).

With nails, sand I. (Ineffective).

There's a point in one of my favourite films, Withnail & I (a film that my phone's autocorrect seems to want to spell 'Utensil & I', which I can testify is a completely different film altogether), where Paul McGann's character testifies to his uncertainty concerning the mental health of he and his deep-heat smothered, lighter-fluid quaffing cohort. British humour is often regarded for its understatement.

And so, with tenuous example in pocket, do we turn to another small group of males, insistent that strafing the lines of sanity is the true method of creative endeavour.

I THINK that Jeb and his office chair have now cemented into one single super-being, known as 'Jair'. You can pronounce it 'J-air', or my preferred 'Ja-ir' which gives it a 70s sci-fi bent, and is therefore superior.

He's had to go over the 360 vids again to submit to the judges of the FAENA arts prize, as part of our potential collaboration with Day Bowman. We're very excited about this. I can't tell you too much (I wasn't listening) but it's going to have lights and interactive things and be in Buenos Aires...if all goes to plan. I'll just quickly repeat the first part: Jeb has had to go over the 360 vids again. Again. (Also: Buenos Aires. I know, right?!)

He's also been the main point of contact for promoters and venues regarding gigs and events for some time now, which wouldn't be so bad if hotmail (Sorry, 'Outlook') hadn't changed their UI to look like a brainwashing program for use in a future prison to stop the inmates ever getting gigs.

He's also been working tirefully on the promotional video for Anathaema's new single. His new mantra 'Repetition is underrated' is scrawled across everything he owns, including his only pen.

There's probably loads more that's driving him crazy, but: I'm trying to think of fun things to do when the EP is launched, Seryn is doing some promotions and networking, Ed is sorting the new practice studio and trying to herd us cats into it, and Trewin has been mixing with mixing engineers with mixed results, all of which means we don't have the time for one another that we'd like, and, if Jeb and myself are anything to go by, insanity, fear, and deep self-and-other-hatred is the current rule of Phoria law (Phorilaw).

But then, when has that been any different?

Tim

NB: It's being in limbo. It's being in new-EP limbo that's causing all of this. That's all it is. I do hope you aren't feeling the same.

We're at The Source new music showcase this Thursday 25/10/12 at Brighton Pavillion theatre.

You should come. It'd calm us down.

Wirk.

We're here, wirking.

I'll call it wirking because we're doing it sat cross-legged on a zebra print blanket, drinking tea and stealing roll-ups from whichever discarded tobacco pouch doesn't have badgers in it, rather than donning Primark shirts and sitting in an overly lit cubicle staring at that furry blue stuff you can and will stick pins in.

That's 'working'. We wouldn't pretend this is as bad as that.

It sounds the same, though. That's the trick, see.

So, we're spending the day sat in a circle, netwirking, collating, and factualising e.g  realising our cross-post-capitalist multimedia output incorporating a big shiny picture of Simon Mayo breaking out of a hen.

It's alright, really.

We're looking at our strategy for promoting the new EP. Right now it's: play lots and lots of gigs and try and get on the radio a bit ooh and the internet too don't forget the internet that's proved itself quite useful especially with friends in the friendbook hope I can have friends.

Needs wirk.

Who needs an iPod...

...when you've got a piano (piVANo) and a van (van)?

No news is no news.

Look; I know we never call, but that doesn't mean that we don't care.

News news bla bla summer sunshine feelings of emptiness despair gnawing inside etc.

Is there any news?

Well, we've got our first gig since Weymouth this Saturday 15th Sept.  It's part of the Southsea festival and we'll be playing in the afternoon at the King's Theatre which I must say does sound and look like an awesome place to plunder people's souls with phat chubsteppery.
We're very much looking forward to playing this exciting venue:

not actual size

We've just had our first practice in a little while - we've all been taking a bit of time for R&R (though for Jeb that just means 'Rendering & loads more Rendering', as he puts the finishing touches to a music video for the British band Anathema. I'm going to watch it in a second. You should see my face.), and have each found our own pleasure in not seeing each other's bloated weeping faces whenever we glance across a room.

We, you know, 'needed some time apart', and seem to be all the fresher for it.

Our fellow Beatituder (does that work?)...no, BEATITUDINATOR, and Brightonian(ATOR) Cate Ferris has just released a cracking little EP.  We like it. Find it here.  And here.

Well, that just about rounds up this update of next to nothing at all.

We're still following up favours and rumours for the purposes of finishing off the new EP. We promise you that it is on its way.  No, forget that: I promise. I, Timothy Douglas, do hereby promise that the new EP will be done a bit soon. 

Erm...




There.  Now no-one's thinking about the EP.

Actually, that's disastrous from a PR POV.

OK, think about the EP.

And about our gig on 15th Sept.

But, above all: enjoy yourself.

Tim

Life is the fruit aisle.

Well, that's that over and done (over and DOME) with then, isn't it? Nothing to look forward to now except the cold hand of death upon our shoulders. Pack away the ICCI dome, extinguish the stars, etc.

Those 360 videos were like a horror villain hell-bent on dragging Jeb through a sewer of mental strife. He thought they were finished. He thought they dead and long calcified at the bottom of the lake in that small town. But wait...what's this? An electrical storm... The lightning strikes the rippling waters...and...NOOOOOO!

I've seen him through two resubmissions and infinite technical glitches that required his reworking of the whole 40 minute, 5 screen epic. I've had conversations (read: counselling sessions) with him that consisted of nothing but his exhausted grunting about rendering times and screen resolutions that left him sounding like a Spielbergian Rain Man.
And so it crushed me that, upon arrival, Jeb's work had been thrown into disarray by a simple organisational oversight (i.e. the projection team had brought the wrong, unfinished, film).
He was forced to co-ordinate with the projection team and work on it there and then.

The bright beast, long thought buried but tonight reanimated, crawls from its watery tomb to resume its reign of audio-visual terror.

BUT WAIT...

Out of the darkness on galliant steed...THE EDITOR returns to slay the foul .avi file once more.

SLICE!
'Yeah can you remap projector 3 to projector 5?'
The creature recoils in horror!
DICE!
'No, that's OK - but it needs rejigging at about 3:45. Hang on a sec, let me take a look. Yeah...Dave? DAVE?! That should be fine if you leave it there. No...no, Dave? That's OK. Yeah. What? No.'
The beast returns to the soiled crypt from whence it arose, The Editor triumphant for what will, hopefully, be the last time. I mean we were already running late.
THEN the BBC (and they've treated us so well in the past?) requested that we postpone our soundcheck for 30mins while they do their live broadcast from right outside the dome. At this point we were running about an hour behind schedule. It was also very, very hot and I had a little stone in my shoe.

Whinge whinge whinge.

But it was stressful, and also an exciting adventure. That's the long and short. Of it.

Everyone involved played well (ourselves, Nordic giants, and Cate Ferris) and were wonderfully professional (except Seryn 'Fire hazard' Burden).

Thanks to Rory, now our sound engineer (welcome and...good luck), and Ciara and Claire of Beatitudes management fame for doing pretty much everything that wasn't plucking or hitting or strumming or shouting or screaming.

So there we are. Weymouth Olympics 360 mission: complete. Since the gig I've been glugging my time in various seafront flats, killing various parts of myself, allowing them to escape the horror of a life without a future.

I mean, what good is a new EP and forthcoming south-west tour if you don't have a 360 dome gig to look forward to?

Maybe I'll ask Jeb...

Tim

On our Wey(mouth).

It's here! The 9th of August is here! Hurrah! Yes! Time for parties and celebrations, children playing, having fun, it's time for a little love and understanding.

We're in the van, singing. Well, Trewin's not singing, because he has a sore throat. Oh yeah, and Seryn's not singing because he ate some gone off food last night and now feels sick.

I'm singing, though.

Singing to my reflection in the wing mirror.

She looks happy.

WEYMOUTH ICCI 360 CULTURAL OLYMPIAD EVENT TONIGHT ON WEYMOUTH SEAFRONT!

This speaker needs more...

...knives.

Sunday service.

Jeb is asleep in the van. I am half asleep in the van. Seryn is silent in the corner of the van. Trewin and Ed are giggling about wee. In the van.

We're on our way to 'London world of Olympic adventures TM' to play at and support the International Youth Arts Festival.

We left at 9am. Today. Sunday.

Now, there are various rules surrounding the sleep patterns of 'musicians'. These are the same rules commonly adhered to by Philosophy undergraduates and those the KJB would describe as 'the wretched'.

These rules do not, as you may have assumed, involve what is happening right now, which is being awake.

And so, with a tired spirit, pure and without the prop of brown drinky or papery leafy lovely stimulants, we shall crawl with grazed knees to deliver our sermon.

'...and lo, they did fall asleep on stage, though the charity and art and things were pretty good and worthwhile until then.'

That's the best I can do, for now. Still...paints a picture, yeah?

Zzzzzzzzzzzzz.

My face.

I'm spending my time this morning trying to look past Bill Turnbull's Debenham's suit to see Phoria appear on BBC news. My face is going to appear on national television. Think about that. Think about how deep the recession must have hit for the yellowing hole in my face to be allowed to flap around on the BBC.

The interview itself went very smoothly (thanks solely to the professionalism of the team filming us) but was incredibly stressful. So much so that I've only just built up the strength to write about it.

'What's that?'
'Oh that's just a glistening, soulless black mouth that eats time and light. We'll just point it at your face.'

It's a big leap from stalking the streets shouting at parked cars to suddenly being asked to give the country a succinct account of why you moved to Brighton (Trewin), what's the deal with all these projections? (Jeb), and what do you think about the cultural side of the Olympics? (Me). It was difficult, dry-mouthed, but still friendly and fun. The team dealt well with the three stuttering radio faces they'd been lumbered with.

We were told it would be broadcast this morning, hence my early hours being spent with the eerily cheerful BBC breakfast news team. Frankly I don't need this first thing in the morning; I need a reflection of me, not a denial of it. I need to see someone sprawling awkwardly across a grubby sofa, hacking and groaning and shielding their eyes from the horror of it all. The horror.

So now, the morning line already having ran, I'll be glued to News24, waiting to catch a glimpse of the horror of it all. The horror.

(Don't forget- FREE gig at The Green Door Store in Brighton this friday! Get down here!)

Tim.
(As seen on TV)

Beebie jeebies.

We're being filmed by BBC World today as part of their Olympic coverage; they're going to be asking us about the work we've been doing towards the ICCI 360 event in Weymouth. We're also being visited by the good people of Brighton Noise who are going to be covering the BBC's coverage.

That's all fine - Jeb can answer any questions about the videos and music or band or whatever. I trust him.

What I need to know is: which conditioner is going to give my hair the right shine to compliment my crushed velvet armbands?

As if I didn't have enough to think about!

Tim

NB. I don't mind saying that I actually find this whole television interview thing quite nerve wracking and that sometimes, when nervous, I make silly jokes. There's one above (you remember, the one about Jeb being able to answer simple questions) that I'm not going to point out to you...but then there are two other hilarious gags right there, neatly hidden inside my exposition of another joke.

So, yes...if over the next few hours you see me making any silly jokes (above), it's just nerves, so you would be well advised to ignore absolutely everything I have to say on any subject.

Oh lord.

The television are coming.

Close that door!

We come and go. Think of it like an oven - if you keep opening the door to check if your meal is done, it'll never get cooked.

So every now and then we just pop the little light on for you folks and let you know if our cheese has nicely browned.

Right now there's a small gathering in Trewin's attic, appraising his latest 'work'. We like it alot. Needless to say it's thrown the EP plans into disarray - what do we leave out now? What do we protect you from? How much more bass guitar does it all need (lots)?

These are the questions that we face.

'Rest, Neo; the answers are coming.'

They're not, though, are they, Morpheus? Your bad sequels confirmed that for us.

And so we remain quagmired in quandry.

We'll listen again. And again. We'll find our favorites, don't worry. Seriously, calm down. Come on. Don't cry! Please! If you do then we will! Oh no.

So yeah, we'll sort it out and see you on 7th July at The Haunt in Brighton, supporting Active Child. Get in touch or check facebook for discounted tickets.

I'm turning the light off, now, mother.

Tim

The End Is Nigh

I thought I'd write my first blog and let you guys know that I'm just putting the finishing touches on the visuals for our 360 show for the Olympics.

It's been a very long and square-eyed couple of months but I'm really excited about how it's going to look on the big screen(s). Each of these videos is going to be 6 metres tall and 62 metres around... it's going to be mental.

Here's a sneak preview -

I fully recommend you come and see it in action on the 9th of August in Weymouth, where we are performing as part of the 'At The Edge of Everything' event, curated by the Shepton Mallet Digital Arts Festival, with the fantastic Nordic Giants, Cate Ferris and Andy Walker.

You can get tickets here - https://weymouthpavilion.purchase-tickets-online.co.uk/public/auto_choose_ga.asp?area=100   for only 10 of your finest pound coins. It'd be a crime not to.

Jeb x

P.S. I just got introduced to the delectable sounds of Baths, it's incredible stuff. Give it a whirl!

Hello-lands.

Well, well, unwell. We returned from Meadowlands four days ago...not that it feels that way for me. I've only just been able to crawl out of my quilt after a nasty bout of I-dunno-wot-itis. The time? It was good.

Tim Key's performance in the spoken word tent was a particular highlight for me. Portico Quartet, of whom I have been a fan since catching them on some long forgotten late-night jazz-o-lantern TV trauma many years ago, were also a keen contender for my 'Where did I put my mind?' award.

It's difficult to describe how good so many of the acts were, so I won't. Except the guy who put the firework up his bum. He's worth a mention. Yeah. Alas: no photo.

We believe our set went well! The crew were great- it's been a while since we had such a relaxed gig. We did a little interview for latest.co.uk, spent some quality time with The Management and co., and saw fellow Brightonians Nordic Giants put on an awesome performance (perhaps the best I've seen them) despite intense sleep deprivation after their single launch only a couple of days before.

All in all: good festival, good time.

Pleasantness abounds.

Except for Jeb. The 360 visuals are due and he spent last weekend slacking off in some field or other.

Tim

Posture!

It's Saturday. We're filming visuals for the 360 degree show. Time generously donated. See also: cameras, dancers, lights, space. Hot outside. Sunny. Close the curtains. More when complete.
My chocolate bar has melted.
The price of art.

Summer

Hello again fellow homo-sapiens. 

Summer is upon us! I can smell the freshly cut grass outside - festival season is nearly here. I hope wherever you are, you are getting as much sunshine as we are down in Brighton. I, however, got a bit too excited, ran around in the sun for far too long and gave myself heat-stroke! Plus I was attacked by seagulls.

Here they are squabbling over bits of my body

We are preparing for our first festival of the season - MEADOWLANDS. Extremely excited to see LAMB and ACHORSONG song again, as well as our good friends NORDIC GIANTS.

In the meanwhile, we have all been very busy with PHORIA things: Jeb has locked himself away for the last month creating 360 degree visuals only to emerge to drag us all to interesting locations with 7 cameras. For example: if you happened to be in Stanmer woods at 01.00am last Tuesday, you would have caught sight of 7 weirdos standing in a circle, shuffling and flashing cameras. Jeb assures me that it will all be worth it...

Trewin is finishing the final mixes of the 'Bloodworks' EP. I am told killer vocal takes cannot be rushed.

I have been transcribing string parts for another special project on the horizon - any good string players out there?

I need to lie down now.

I leave you with some Vaughan-Williams - because I'm cultured and stuff.

Ed x

Something prog, something new, something really massive and round, and nothing blue.

It used to be that I would wake up in the morning (read: afternoon), stumble over to my mess of a desk, and give my laptop a good old boot into the punctuated pit of the world-wide-web.  I had immediate and unbridled access to two things: new music and information. OK, let's be honest, three things.

It used to be that I was that guy in pub-tabled conversation:  'Have you heard the new bootleg-EP pre-release fan-fiction leaks from The Super New Underground Great Sound band?  No?  Oh man it's great you have to hear it blablabla...'

I haven't had consistent access to broadband internet since 2009.

Wipe the tears from your eyes, dear telecommunicative reader - I know it's upsetting, but we can get through this together.  You can start a facebook support group for each another while I make a collage of what I imagine that to look like.  I'll make it from scraps in the corner of my mud hut.

What all of this means (finally, a point) is that, unlike the rest of the 'cool', fully-wired Phoria crew who are inevitably on the cruising edge of the 21st century's bubbling musical pot, I have become something of a backwater fish.  

So, what are my habits then, when, after years without and for a limited time only, I do have access to broadband?

I indulge in old 70's Anglo-German prog with crazy sci-fi psychedelic album art, and get so consumed with pleasure that I feel compelled to share it on a collective blog:

Others may provide you with the new and the cool - I'll merely provide you with my own ugly truth.

Alas, there is little news from 'The Phoria'.  Most of us have been tucked into our little beds, sneezing and wheezing away.  It's convenient that this little spate of illness has been well coordinated.  Another winning idea, lads.  It's yet to be seen whether this initiative will improve our productivity. (NB. It won't).  That's government money saved.

We even, regretfully, had to cancel our appearance at the 'Festeaval' festival last weekend, where we were scheduled to appear alongside Bastille, one of my favourite new bands of the moment (thanks, Radio 6, for keeping me umbilically attached to the mainstream).  It's all quirky beats and bassy synth-arpeggiated fun,  so what's not to love?

Our much-promised EP is currently being rested (to be approached again with fresh ears) and we're focussing our efforts on preparation for the Olympic 2012 gig in Weymouth.

Here's a great example of what can be achieved using the set-up we're working with:

Good lord.

Wish us well.

Tim

Photoshoot-Festival Weekender

Greetings fellow earthlings! What a weekend we've had. Friday began with a photoshoot with new mentor Ciara in and around the lovely town of Frome.

Here's some shots I took from the first spot we found ourselves in - an awesome old attic space interspersed with rather odd artifacts...

Trewin is happy!

Friends

Stuffed mongoose and snake fighting - the usual

Jeb prepares his "photo-shoot" face.

View from the attic's rather disquieting door to nowhere

"If you go down to the woods today..."

Later on in the day Ciara took us to a derelict iron works situated by a river deep in the woods. The place was just beautiful, only to be ruined by 5 irksome musicians. Never-the-less we had a brilliant time and soon the shoot itself shall appear. We only hope we're as pretty as we pretended to be.

Saturday started with the predictable pre-gig hangover which was soon shook off and replaced with excitement for the imminent Festival of Art for Brazil in aid of Ephermal Brazil.

Nordic Giants set up

The night was a great success. A big thanks to everyone involved, including Nordic Giants and Andy Walker, who were both excellent.

Big plans for the future. Stay tuned!

Ed 

x

That was fun.

...right, Trewin?

Please remain seated.

This is my chosen view of the venue in Shaftesbury. After a hectic few days in and out of the many pittoresque towns of southern England (consorting with cameras and local folk) and a hectic few nights in the dwellings of those whose charity extends well beyond their endurance, I've taken to a nook with room for legs to stretch.

The new photos will be posted soon enough, but certainly not before all of my personal Adobe enabled demands are met. I'll tell you now that yes, I have been working out (my top tip? Wrestling robot bears).

Tonight we're playing with the mighty Nordic Giants, who are currently in the midst of their consistently entertaining soundcheck. Even here, tucked away and both-sides blindsided, Dai's drums are making my heart race with the anticipation of tonight's performance.

It's going to be a goody, and it's all in aid of Ephemeral Brazil- a charity worth your time and undivided attention. Go out there and find out about them!

I'll stay here, keeping the morale low.

Tim.

Phoria will be performing tonight at Shaftesbury arts centre from 8pm.

Rainy Btown

Weather has been horrible recently in Brighton but we have been busy rehearsing and coming up with new jokes. On that note, the song of the day goes to................

Jasmine by Jai Paul.   Beautiful down tempo-y song. SMOOTH

Night Night xx


Sez

The band room is alive...

...with the sound of intense practice on a sunday! A SUNDAY of all things! Take note, aspiring musicians- there is no rest for the wicked. Or the neighbours.

We've got a big week lined up- we're at The Blind Tiger club in Brighton tomorrow 23/4/12, then we're heading down to the south west (where this humble young scallywag was created) for a photo sesh and what we know is going to be a great gig at Shaftesbury arts centre on Saturday for Ephemeral Brazil, who provide help and hope to vulnerable women living in the slums of south america. We feel honoured to be a part of this worthy cause. Get your ticket here.

Lots to prepare for, then!

That must be why we're working on a Sunday.

A Sunday, of all times.

Honestly.

And I'm missing the snooker.

See you tomorrow!

Tim

Sharing is caring.

For your morning.



 

New monday.

It's a deliciously cold and rainy bank holiday, and we're holed up in Trewin's attic working on a delicious new setlist. There's nowhere I'd rather be on a day like today than here listening to delicate piano lines and pretty little guitar motifs.

Now all it needs is a bass line phat and heavy enough to melt time.

Right, guys?

Tim

A weak cough.

Don't worry- we're fine. I know we've been a bit quiet, but we've been having competitions to see who can squeeze Seryn into a Samsonite xSpace (even Ryanair are getting more expensive) and getting, like, so totally excited at the prospect of Ed's birthday (totally). We've been busy, yeah?

Not really.

Me, personally? I've been laying in bed drinking Bovril and watching UB40 videos on the 'musical television'.

The EP is, of course, still being tweaked and squeaked by Trewin into something lovely. We're still excited about people hearing it, and hope all your patience will be rewarded when it finally sees the light of day.

Jeb's also been beavering away, working on the exciting 360 degree visuals for our Olympic gig in August. It's been an absolute joy to see the fear and confusion behind those heavy eyes, the reliable matchstick of legal stimulation snapping them open as a shimmering screen pricks them a dry beetroot red. An absolute joy, I tell you. Don't worry - he loves it really.

Away from all my hard work, then- it's Ed's birthday!!

Happy birthday, Ed.

We've been too busy to organise anything for you, and besides we blew the celebration budget on those ballet dancing elephants for Trewin's party. They don't come cheap. (What a great party! Do you remember, Ed?)

So there we have it. Now you're all clued up.

And not a silly, gaudily packaged easter treat in sight.

Tim

Me Again!

I've been waiting for somebody else in the band to post a blog but obviously when you have :

*Trewin, too busy mixing our new EP, "Bloodworks" and occasional bike ride, 

*Tim, too busy looking up porn, drinking whisky while telling "believers" that god doesn't actually exist, 

*Ed San playing "Uncharted" and getting harassed by his young music students,

*Jeb trying to figure out how to use 360 visuals with 6.1 surround sound for our show at the Olympics in August,

considering all of those factors I guess I'm the only one who has enough spear time to post something on here.

Anyway I will be no longer doing "my favourite food" section as I received a sense mood that no one actually gives a s_ _ t about what I'd like to eat so I'm only going to post "my favourite song" from now on.

Toe - Mukougishi Ga Shiru Yume

Toe is a Japanese music group. While mentioned in many post-rock circles, their song structure and dynamics are similar to many popular math rock artists.

Toe is composed of Kashikura Takashi on drums, Mino Takaaki on guitar, Yamane Satoshi on bass guitar, and Yamazaki Hirokazu on guitar. Toe has formally played with this line-up since the band’s inception in 2000. They are currently one of three bands on the indie label Machu Picchu,along with the bands mouse on the keys and Enemies. This is a label formed by the members of Toe.

If you don't know them already I highly recommend you to give them a listen!

Sayounara

Sez x

Better than Tim's

Konnichiwa Everyone.

Finally I've figured out how to use "blogger", I'm sure all of you have been waiting patiently while reading Tim's absolute useless and pointless blogs. No need for that anymore because your favourite Phoria member Seryn is here and I'm going to write about my fascinating life, that's full of excitements and laughs. You HAVE to enjoy this! If now you'd still have to recommend it to all of your pals and gals. In this 1st post, I will be taking you through my favourite food and music that I'm enjoying at the moment.

Before we go into that topic, there are few rules that you need to follow when you are reading my posts.

* No "diss" comments on my posts about my poor grammars or spellings as Japanese is my mother      tongue so just get over it.

*No rasists comments.



Right, so my favourite food at the moment is this 50p noodle. Filled with filthy powder and 20 years old plastic vegetables....... but it tastes bloody good.

My favourite song at the moment is "Norway" by Beach House. Very haunting sound but manage to keep it beautiful. Awsome band! We would love to support you guys! *Wink *Wink    >_<

Sayounara


Sez  xx

Sorry all.

We saved Trewin from Apocalypse Now style traffic madness, but will  not be playing in Hoxton tonight.

Sorry for the short notice and much love to all!

Tim

Let's take the quick way through central London on a Saturday.

As Trewin's birthday was yesterday, the Universe has now seen fit to return his luck to 'default' and put us in a central London traffic jam for two hours and counting. The sat-nav says we are minutes from the gig. We are not minutes from the gig.

Trewin, behind the wheel as usual, has even grown tired of our singing and 'jokes'.

We fear it is not long until a complete implosion.

More news as and when.

See you tonight at The Workshop in Hoxton! Don't get stuck in traffic!

Tim

Trewin was born?

...we always assumed he was manufactured on the cheap in an old man's basement.

Well, after a confusing (and, frankly, offensive) phone call to the council it turns out we were wrong.

Happy Birthday, Trewin.

To celebrate I'm going to look at a picture of you next to a horse whilst listening to early Jamiroquai.

We're playing in Hoxton tomorrow (31/3/12)! For more details see our facebook or website. We've been practicing hard, and will even be denying Trewin his birthday cake until he plays the whole set perfectly.

I'm joking of course!! The cake is a lie.

Stay safe.

Tim

Little enclave.

The band house is often so consumed with such activity as 'toast making' and 'feeding the cat' that I feel grateful to have my own little haven just down the road.
This morning's delicacies, enjoyed over a bowl of smart-price cereal and a cup of tea?

Brother Ali - Shadows on the sun
Kate Bush - The Sensual world
The Mars Volta - Noctourniquet

The last of those was enjoyed in the form of a shining silver wheel once called a 'CD' that is sure to one day confuse the children of the western world.

A portion of the morning was also spent attempting to 'Dubstepify' (you can have that, if you like) the 1994 Pink Floyd track 'What do you want from me?' with dreadful, dreadful consequences.

Maybe it's time to make some toast and feed the cat.

Tim

"Red light's on"

Warm greetings on this sunny spring afternoon! Welcome to Phoria's first blog - here you will be able to discover all sorts of things; what we're up to, what we have lined up and just generally what makes us all tick.

I start with news of recording. It is happening as I write - Trewin is hard at work editing and mixing.

It's been a tricky process and there's still a way to go but we have decided on a track listing and have completed recording the core instrumental parts.

Seryn on the kit

Tim looking rather concerned...sorry, concentrating.

Myself looking rather cheesy (I am a keyboardist).

Lots more to do but we are all totally psyched and raring for it after some very exciting news, more about that later...

Ed x